Owner and clerk of a General Store in Cambria.

He sells chiefly secondhand equipment. His goods are cheap, though of varying usefulness. He will buy most items at the best prices, with the exception of weapons (see: Tony) and junk (see: Jake).

Hick Problems

At the time you meet him, Cambria will likely be experiencing trouble in the form of a wild group of Hicks who live on beyond the east side of town. Keith won't be able to sell you any firearms until they're taken care of, and if let go too long, he will go out of business entirely. For more information, see: Eliminate the Hicks


Sector G9: Cambria Commercial


  • Has a reserved and conservative outlook on life: believes a wife's job is to bring him dinner every evening while he brings home the money. Not terribly keen on ambition.


  • "Welcome! Best prices in Arulco, guaranteed!"
  • "Look. It's nothing personal, but I gotta make a living. people see me yakking with you, and I'm back hawking porno in San Mona."
  • "Hey, hey calm down, man! I haven't done anything to you. Enough stress around here already."
  • "I got drafted back in the eighties. Didn't go then, I ain't planning to go now. It just ain't for me. I'd rather just sit at home and have the Mrs. bring me my dinner."
  • "Well, well... Nice to see you again."
  • "Looks like you're interested in doing a bit of dealing. That's my game, man."
  • "Yeah, well uh... I only take stuff I can move, you know?"
  • "Yeah, okay. Looks all right. Let me make you a deal here."
  • "Round here, people generally choose their products before they pay for 'em."
  • "Well, good doing business with you. Keep me in mind."
  • "Sure thing, man. Let me get my manager's cap on."
  • "You know where to find me if you get wise."
  • "I'll be straight with you: I don't think you'll get a dime anywhere."
  • "You know, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't. Life just don't make the sense it used to."
  • "Well, you take care. I gotta make myself busy."
  • "Finally, those Hick boys and their still-brained father have been taken care of. Made yourself a lot of friends around here. Be good for business, too. Thanks, man."
  • "You beat this with a heavy stick? Looks rough, man. I can't give you full value for it."
  • "Stuff moves pretty quick here. Get it in, and i can usually turn her around in a day or two."
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